2013 Predictions

So my 2012 predictions were right on the money as usual. For example, Barrack Obama was a one-term president in 2012. He won’t be a two term president until 2013. Admittedly, I was off on a couple of the predictions, but being wrong never stopped anyone from making more.

So, here we go with my predictions for 2013:

1. A scientific consensus will emerge that the main cause of global warming is chihuahua farts. Seriously, the debate is over. One chihuahua carries more global warming gases than an entire herd of cows.

2. After getting 1 billion views on YouTube for his Gangnam Style video, Korean pop sensation Psy will follow up with a Lawrence Welk tribute album. The first single will get 2 billion views on YouTube.

3. I won’t get charged with attempted rape this year (hopefully).

4. I will be charged with being totally awesome.

5. I will date a super model (OK. already done).

6. Hillary Clinton will leave politics and open up a diner in Arkansas featuring a menu of various pork dishes.

7. The boy band One Direction will not release another album after the entire group gets caught up in a Minecraft video game addiction.

8. Apple will be successful in trademarking the letter “I,” requiring all U.S. citizens to begin referring to themselves in the third person.

9. Justin Beiber will escape notice of the paparazzi by registering at the Hilton in Boise under the pseudonym “Jistun Beeper.”

10. The fashion world will be turned upside down with the introduction of the latest fad, turtle waist trousers.