I love the approach of the new year with its promises of new beginnings and weight loss (ahem). It is also the time of annual predictions! I still say, I’m just as accurate as any other charlatan. So here is what I see on the horizon for 2008.
- Although “trans-fats” are the current boogey-man, a somewhat confused activist group in California will campaign for “trans-fats” rights. After all, trans-fats should have the choice of being whatever fatty orientation they choose.
- Congress will pass a law to end the production of incandescent light bulbs and promote production of compact flourescent lightbulbs (CFL). Within the next five years, Congress will legislate Superfund-like clean up bills from the impending disaster of mercury contamination in our nation’s landfills. CFL producers will be sued en masse for the health related scares of mercury poisoning drummed up by trial lawyers. This will make the tobacco settlement look like pocket change.
- Osama bin Laden’s beard will fall out due to a rare skin condition that most commonly results from kissing goats. Al-Qaida will release a tape blaming bin Laden’s affection for goats on Zionists.
- Hillary Clinton will almost be elected President of the United States.
- Although 2008 is a leap year, the New York Times will ignore February 29th in favor of issuing two consecutive days of the March 1st edition. Sadly, these two editions will be published on the 3rd and 4th of April. The gaff by “the Newspaper of Record” will largely go unnoticed because no one reads newspapers anyway. Most people who become aware of it will hear about it from Leno.
- The Hollywood writer’s strike will continue long into 2008. President Bush will be forced to activate the National Guard to keep “Grey’s Anatomy” fans from rioting. “Lost” fans will not riot as they will think the writer’s strike is another plot point in the series and will try to discover how it figures into the plans of the “Dharma Initiative.”
- In early January, the state of Iowa will successfully complete its caucus to nominate candidates for the Presidential elections later in the year. Meanwhile, the rest of the country will continue to wonder what the heck a caucus is.
- Google will expand its main service from search, to search and rescue. It will only work if you happen to be lost in cyberspace.
- Some U.S. city (perhaps even a region) will experience record snow fall. News media will cite so-called experts who blame the blizzard on global warming. These experts will then use the snow as more proof that (in the words of Al Gore) “the debate on global warming is over.”
- I will use my paranormal powers to usher in a new era of peace in the Middle East. This new era will last approximately five minutes.
The Anchoress has a post the reminds us why we Americans are blessed to live in this country. Immigrants come from the other side of the world for the opportunities not found where they come from.
I gave this charging valet from Brookstone to Honeybun for Christmas.
Keeps her gadgets organized. Notice the wood finish. Of course it comes with the obligatory warning “Do not use in the bathtub.” Really, it did.
The question is, is Brookstone really worried about a lawsuit so much they warn about the obvious, or are people so stupid now days that someone actually has put a wooden valet in a bath tub.
I notice they didn’t warn me that the valet was “not intended for use as a hang glider.” I’m thinking about giving it a go…
Earlier this month I was stressing out trying to get my 25-page paper done for my grad-school class. Got my final grade today…an A. Was there any doubt? (Um, actually yes, there was). Good times.
Well, clearer anyway. This morning I was able to read the 20/20 line at the doctor’s office. Tonight, things are a little blurry at some distances. I’ve been told that it can take a few days for my vision to stabilize.
My eyes feel a little itchy but the haziness I saw yesterday is almost entirely gone.
Had LASIK surgery today. Woohoo!
The most uncomfortable part was when they used the laser to make the flap of the cornea.
The surgery itself wasn’t bad at all. Now things are a bit hazy and my eyes feel the slightest bit scratchy (I”m told that will get worse tomorrow). I can already see an improvement. My eyes are a bit light sensitive at the moment, and there are star bursts around lights, but it isn’t too bad.
Just relaxing the rest of the day.
I watched the first show of Clash of the Choirs: Holiday Challenge tonight. The gimmick is that five famous singers have recruited choirs to compete in a four day competition.
The first thing I noticed was that the “Holiday Challenge” seems to be a misnomer. Nary a holiday (we like to call it Christmas round these parts) song was heard. For the most part, the songs were pop hits. Performances included “Life is a Highway” and Bon Jovi’s “Living on Prayer” – you know, traditional choir fare (or maybe not).
Then Patti LaBelle’s choir took the stage and sang an amazing rendition of “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands.” This competition may as well be over. Just give her choir the award now. None of the others have a chance. First, she arranged a song that is actually a fit for a choir (Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer”? Please!). Second, they did an amazing job of singing it. Smart move going gospel. It is just a natural fit for a choir.
Patti LaBelle’s choir is the only reason to watch this show.
Couple of suggestions for NBC. Have the Choir’s sing “holiday” (i.e. Christmas) songs for a “Holiday Challenge” and don’t try to force pop songs into a choir genre. That just doesn’t work.
Today was Bailey’s first birthday. Had a little party. She seemed to enjoy her first taste of cake even though she didn’t seem like she was sure what she should be doing with it.
This year has gone by fast. Hard to believe we’ve been doing this parenting thing for a year already. We’ve loved it.
Happy Birthday Sunshine.
“He suffered a mild heat attack today.”
Who is Alex Trebek?
Come on. That’s funny. (only because the heart attack was mild).