2011 Predictions

My continuing series of yearly predictions must…um…continue. Time to look ahead to 2011.

1. President Obama’s administration will make another foreign policy gaffe by offering the Dali Lama a stuffed dolly llama.

2. The Hula Hoop diet will be the newest weight loss fad after paparazzi captures Oprah giving one of the hoops a try at a Toys R Us outside Galveston.

3. The Funky Bunch will try to launch a reunion tour, but it will fail when Marky Mark refuses to reprise his fronting role.

4. The Caribbean island of Aruba will freeze over when Al Gore decides to hold a Global Warming rally there in July.

5. The success of “Dancing with the Stars” and “Skating with the Stars” will inspire a new series -“Hot Tubbing with the Stars.” The show will fail to gain an audience because the only “Stars” who agree to go on the show will be Elliot Spitzer and Mark Sanford.

6. Reality shows will continue to display a total lack of reality.

7. The press will continue to report any rise or stagnation of unemployment as “unexpected.” It will be the drinking game of 2011.

8. Steve Jobs will create a new product that no one needs now, but everyone will think they need after it hits the market. Something along the lines of an ultra thin Easy Bake Oven…without any buttons.

9. Health nuts will hold rallies against “Big Tobacco”, during which many of the rally participants will also be holding signs to legalize pot.

10. The Denver Broncos will hire a new coach for $5 million per year, while ignoring the fact that I would do the job for half of that.

What a year it will be.

  • Lisa

    Compelling and interesting predictions Jason. My personal fave is your #8. I can’t wait to see what I don’t need, and smile knowing I won’t cave to the consumer pressure to buy the whatever. 🙂