2011 Predictions

My continuing series of yearly predictions must…um…continue. Time to look ahead to 2011.

1. President Obama’s administration will make another foreign policy gaffe by offering the Dali Lama a stuffed dolly llama.

2. The Hula Hoop diet will be the newest weight loss fad after paparazzi captures Oprah giving one of the hoops a try at a Toys R Us outside Galveston.

3. The Funky Bunch will try to launch a reunion tour, but it will fail when Marky Mark refuses to reprise his fronting role.

4. The Caribbean island of Aruba will freeze over when Al Gore decides to hold a Global Warming rally there in July.

5. The success of “Dancing with the Stars” and “Skating with the Stars” will inspire a new series -“Hot Tubbing with the Stars.” The show will fail to gain an audience because the only “Stars” who agree to go on the show will be Elliot Spitzer and Mark Sanford.

6. Reality shows will continue to display a total lack of reality.

7. The press will continue to report any rise or stagnation of unemployment as “unexpected.” It will be the drinking game of 2011.

8. Steve Jobs will create a new product that no one needs now, but everyone will think they need after it hits the market. Something along the lines of an ultra thin Easy Bake Oven…without any buttons.

9. Health nuts will hold rallies against “Big Tobacco”, during which many of the rally participants will also be holding signs to legalize pot.

10. The Denver Broncos will hire a new coach for $5 million per year, while ignoring the fact that I would do the job for half of that.

What a year it will be.

Making spirits bright

Last Friday, my wife went to Toys R Us in Lone Tree, Colorado (I guess the store is technically in Englewood) to buy a bike for our daughter. She made the purchase then waited at the customer service desk for someone to get the box from the stock room. It turned out that the manager, Greg, was the person who brought it to the front. He then offered to carry the box out to the car for her. The manager personally helping a customer carry out a large box? That doesn’t happen very often. But wait, it gets better.

While walking out to the car, Greg asked my wife if the bike was a Christmas present. Honeybun explained that it is actually a present for our daughter’s birthday coming up on the 15th, and then mentioned that we won’t be able to put it together that day because we are moving and will assemble it when we get to New Mexico after Christmas.

At that point, Greg told her that it just isn’t fair for our daughter not to be able to ride her bike on her birthday. He then told my wife to bring Bailey by the store today. They loaned her a demo for a week, decorated it with pink ribbons, and wished her a happy birthday.

Wow. I mean, WOW. Honeybun was brought to tears of gratitude that the manager would be so concerned about our daughter being able to enjoy her present that he is doing something extraordinary to make it happen.

Honeybun told her friend about the episode. Our friend then said she knew exactly who that manager is. It turns out our friend went to that same store to buy a present. The store was out of stock for that item, so Greg personally drove to another Toys R Us location, brought it back to his store, and called our friend when he had it ready to pick up.

If you are near Park Meadows mall and need a toy, go to the Toys R Us. If there is a problem, Greg will take care of you. It’s like he is Santa Claus for parents.

Thank you Greg.