Month: May 2006

Stupid tolerance

A school in Pennsylvania is threatening to suspend a student for giving some chewing gum to a classmate.

Your probably thinking that this isn’t the 1950’s. Gum sharing isn’t that big a deal nowdays. You’re right, unless it violates the zero tolerance policy on drugs. You see the gum that the student was sharing was Jolt gum and contains the “stimulant” caffeine! AAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The question is, why do we let “educators” teach children when they demonstrate they have no ability to use reason?

(hat tip: Nobody’s Business via Overlawyered)

NFL Commissioner

The NFL has “stepped up” its search for a commissioner to replace Paul Tagliabue.

Let me take this opportunity to announce my candidacy for NFL Commissioner. If offered the position I will make a few changes:

  1. The Denver Broncos will be allowed to use 12 players on the field.
  2. Dallas Cowboy uniforms will include a tutu.
  3. Any player who fails a drug test will immediately be given the offer of a contract extension with the Oakland Raiders. (In practice this already happens but I’ll just make it official).

Commissioner Jason. I like the sound of that.

Coincidence?

This moring Honeybun and I were driving all around Denver doing some shopping and errands. While we were driving the flow of conversation reminded me of a comment an old friend had once told me. We talked about him for about 30 seconds and the conversation moved on, my old friend quickly forgotten again.
I met Jeff about 11 years ago at work while we were in training for a new position. We became unlikely friends. He was 10 years older than me and married with a 15 year-old daughter. I was still single (although living with Honeybun) and had no plans for children. We just didn’t seem to have much in common, but, thanks to a similar sense of humor, we hit it off and were good friends.I remember one time at an after work off site meeting, a VP from out of state was giving a talk about the direction of the department. Jeff and I had been joking around and by the time the VP started to talk we had each other in stitches. We could not stop laughing during the speech. We finally had to stop looking at each other to compose ourselves. I wouldn’t say we were “best” friends, but Jeff was one of those rare people you meet who is just comfortable to be around.
About a year later he moved to another company. We kept in contact for a couple of years but eventually lost touch because of time and distance. I haven’t seen Jeff in seven or eight years.
Later in the afternoon Honeybun and I decided to look in Kohl’s for something we had been looking for at six other stores. As I walk in the door, I hear “Jason?”. Wouldn’t you know it, Jeff was standing in the check out line. I would have walked within 20 feet of him and not noticed if he hadn’t called my name. This is just weird. I hadn’t even thought of him in years. Yet on the very day I briefly remember something he told me and wondered what he is doing now, I see him at a store.

Now this is where my mind is blown. Honeybun and I have shopped at Kohl’s exactly one other time in the past 10 years. Not only that, but Honeybun had suggested I drive around the building and park in front of a different entrance. Had I done so, we wouldn’t have seen him. And my not taking that suggestion is rare in itself.
What are the chances? It seems so incredibly strange.

I gave him my number. Hope he calls and we can catch up over lunch.

Dude, you’re not quite as fat

After week 1, I have lost weight. I’m now at 232 pounds.

The Shangri-La diet does seem to help control my appettite. I don’t have the cravings to snack in between meals. What is more strange to me is I don’t have as much a desire for sugary drinks like pop. I bought a 12-pack of ginger ale a few days ago and I’ve drank only one. And I like ginger ale.

So maybe this thing works. Now, on to week 2.

 

Dude, you’re fat

OK, so I’ve put on a few pounds.  Time to lose some weight. I tried Weight Watchers a couple of years ago and had some great success. Trouble is I just can’t get into it again. I’m always hungry.

 So exercise, right? Well when I’ve tried burning more calories, my body compensated for the lost calories by making me more hungry so I would replace what I lost. So that doesn’t work.

 So what now? Well I need to find something where I can eat less and not feel hungry.

Enter the Shangri-la Diet; the first diet fad of the blogosphere. It works like this, eat somewhere between 100 to 300 (depending on how much weight you want to lose) of flavorless calories in the form of sugar water or extra-light olive oil at least one hour before or after you eat a meal. The idea behind it is that the sugar water or olive oil (it must be extra-light) is flavorless. Flavorless calories will help you lower you body’s set point (the weight your body wants to be). As a result, you won’t feel hungry and will therefore eat fewer calories.

Calorie lab isn’t conviced. As they point out, this is a calorie-restriction diet. They call that “unnatural”. I would agree it is unnatural as long as you are fighting your natural hunger. If you just aren’t hungry, it is natural to reduce your intake of calories. So let’s see how it goes.

Jason’s starting weight: 235 lbs.
Height: 6’2″