Month: December 2003

Britney Spears will gain 150 pounds, take to wearing muu muus on stage, and demand to be respected for her talent. Meanwhile, Christina Aguilera sets a record for most body piercing before dying tragically when all the piercings are simultaneously ripped from her body in a tragic giant electro-magnet accident.

Osama bin Laden will be convert to Kabbalah and record a duet with Madonna that will debut at #1 in France.

PETA will boycott Orkin pest control as cockroach mass murderers and call for a U.N. tribunal to try the “Orkin Man” for crimes against bug-manity. (OK, so not all these predictions are unlikely).

Hillary Clinton will decide to take a hard line against all terrorist supporting countries in her new book “It Takes a Nuke”.

George Bush will win 47 states in the election after Howard Dean admits he has no idea about foreign policy. OK, Dean won’t admit that, but the electorate will realize it and Bush will still win 47 states.

Major League Baseball players will realize their contracts have gotten out of control and are harming the game. The union will threaten to strike if their demand is not met to restructure their contract to limit the money their players can receive – and the Palestinian Authority will condemn suicide bombings.

I will land a job as a columnist for the Wall Street Journal. My witty writings will gain the attention of a high profile producer who will use my articles for a new TV series that will be the most watched premier ever. The contract will make me rich, but after the first 6 episodes the writing will become shoddy and cliche leading to a cancellation after the first season. Reruns will live on and become a cult classic.

I’m back from my vacation.

We had a great time after we got over our sicknesses. After Christmas Honeybun and I went to Phoenix to see my father’s wedding. We met family I hadn’t seen in 20 years.

I also hadn’t been in Phoenix since 1991. I know everything changes, but wow! The neighborhood I grew up in is hardly recognizable. The biggest change I saw with the size of the city. I’m amazed at how much it has grown – while taking for granted the immense growth in the Denver metro area where I live now.

Phoenix is still a great city. I’d live there again if it weren’t so damn hot in July and August.

Well it’s Christmas day and the rituals are nearly complete. We got up early and unwrapped all our gifts and stocking stuffers (all in our pajamas). My in-laws really know how to bring out the excitement of Christmas. Its contagious.

After the gifts was the traditional (for us) breakfast of egg casserole (with green chili and sausage) and cinnamon rolls. Mmmm…cinnamon rolls.

Now there is nothing left but waiting for the weight gain. Ahhh, I love Christmas.

Honeybun is still nauseous with flu like symptoms, my head is still a snot factory. But its CHRISTMAS!

Merry Christmas everyone.

So we’re here in warm – 60 something – Las Cruces. The Luminarios are around the in-laws place waiting to be lit at sundown. Christmas eve dinner is being prepared.

And wouldn’t you know it, Honeybun and I are both sick. She is feeling like she wants to throw up everything she has eaten in the last 6 months. I’m feeling like my head is one big snot factory…wait a sec (snooooorrrrrt). Ah better for a little while.

It’s been a year since I’ve had a vacation, and I’m sick. Great.

Well at least we are with family. Merry Christmas everyone.

Well, probably won’t blog much for the next two weeks or so. I’m going on vacation with Honeybun to Las Cruces, NM for Christmas. After that, we will head over to Phoenix, AZ to see my father’s wedding.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Birmingham, Alabama Clay-Chalkville High sophmore Ysatis Jones has been suspended from school and told she must attend an alternative school for a month for commiting a “major drug offense”. She took Motrin for menstrual cramps.

Attending the alternative school would put Jones, an A-B student, in classes with children who committed offenses such as battery, arson and possessing illegal drugs.

Proving once again that people who cannot use critical thinking skills should not be given the responsibility of educating children.

When are parents going to fire the public schools?

CNN reports:
ST. PAUL, Minnesota (AP) — The wife of a hockey fan who crashed his car after drinking too much at a Minnesota Wild game has sued the team, saying her husband shouldn’t have been served so much alcohol.

Whoever owns the property he crashed into should sue the wife for allowing her husband to drive.

In Cynthia Tucker’s current column she criticizes conservatives, specifically James Dobson of Focus on the Family for condemning gay marriage but not complaining loudly enough about shows like The Bachelor or The Bachelorette.

She tries to make the case that gay marriage should be approved because James Dobson has not forcefully criticized The Bachelorette.

What she ignores is that Focus on the Family does not approve of shows like The Bachelorette. Boundless.org, a site affiliated with Focus on the Family specifically criticized Married by America – another reality show that tried to introduce couples so they would get married. While I did not find a specific reference from Focus on the Family on The Bachelorette, it wasn’t hard to figure what the view of Focus is on these types of shows.

Then she ignores the entire purpose of Focus on the Family – to preserve families. Even a cursory glance at Focus on the Family’s website leads one to believe that they support in depth preparation before entering into marriage. Even without a specific condemnation of that particular show, it seems obvious that James Dobson would not approve of making a life time vow merely for the purpose of trying to generate one night of ratings for a TV network.

Her conclusion is wrong. Conservatives are concerned about shows like The Bachelorette. They degrade marriage into a passing entertainment. It sends the message that you can change the channel when the marriage gets old.

Cynthia’s case for gay marriage is based on the fact that she doesn’t like James Dobson. In the end, that just isn’t convincing. The irony is that James Dobson would disapprove of The Bachelorette just as much as she does.

It’s official, teacher’s unions do not care about children. But then, we already knew that. The latest evidence comes from Washington.
When the Seattle Times requested information about teachers and coaches accused of sexual misconduct from Bellevue School district, the school worked with the union to destroy the information.

Sickening really. Now, I’m fully aware that people make false allegations. Too many times, a false allegation alone can ruin lives. In those cases, the school must publicly clear the accused and punish the false accuser. But to be complicit in hiding the guilty is abhorrent. The newspaper obtained an email from Sharon Howard, an attorney for the school district, that said:

“There is no reason we would ever want to drag current or former employees through public attention to such matters – even those who were found to have committed misconduct,”

This is why we need school vouchers so tax payers can afford private schools. When public schools show such complete disregard for children, it is time to take back control of our children’s education and safety.

After my last post, I had to check into some facts. Over and over, Democrats are crying for the U.N. to take over in Iraq. I don’t understand why they would want to deny freedom to Iraq.

The U.N. is NOT an organization that represents freedom or democracy. Of the 191 member nations, only 85 have democratic governments. The 106 others are dictatorships or one-party governments. 48 or complete dictatorships.

The U.N. believes a dictatorship is just as righteous as a democracy. Last year, the United States was voted off the U.N. Human Rights Commission and replaced with terrorist supporting Libya.

The U.N. does not allow Taiwan (a democratic nation of 23 million people) to join. NewsMax.com documents all this.

I find it scary that Democrats have more faith in a totalitarian supporting organization that it does in our own republic. I said the Democrats want to deny freedom to Iraq. What other explanation could there be?