Teaching your daughter to date

I was talking to a friend at work last night about how to teach a daughter to make good decisions in the men she dates. Now I don’t have to worry about this at the moment, but that moment will arrive one day and I want to be prepared.

I think he had the best point in the discussion. You don’t necessarily need to teach her a list of rules in teaching her how to date. Just be there and be an example for her while she is growing up. She will learn by observing her father about how men should treat women. This is why girls need fathers in the home.

Still, I figure it can’t hurt to teach her what she should be looking for. I’ve noticed that women who pick bad men to date usually miss a number of warning signs. So far I have a couple rules. Care to help pitch in?

1. Date a man who goes to church regularly (preferrably a Catholic Church – of course). These men are more likely to treat a woman well, but less likely to use drugs or be in other kinds of trouble.

2. Do not date a man who does not have a job. Preferably date a man who earns more than you.
(Correllary: Don’t date a man whose job is selling drugs.)

3. Do not date a man who has been to prison or jail.

Updates:

4. Watch how a man treats his mother and sisters. Also note how he treats waitstaff. If he treats these people poorly, he will treat you poorly. (Thank you Laura).

5. Do not date a man who does not come to the door to pick you up. If he honks his horn at the curb, my daughter will not be allowed to leave the house.

Laura

I would consider how he treats other women – his mothers and sisters and friends. Also how he treats grocery clerks and servers – that's good to notice about anyone.
Laura

I would consider how he treats other women – his mothers and sisters and friends. Also how he treats grocery clerks and servers – that's good to notice about anyone.
Laura

I would consider how he treats other women – his mothers and sisters and friends. Also how he treats grocery clerks and servers – that’s good to notice about anyone.
Laura

I would consider how he treats other women – his mothers and sisters and friends. Also how he treats grocery clerks and servers – that’s good to notice about anyone.
MelanieB

I'd add that he should dress respectfully. It doesn't have to be button down shirt and tie (unless you're going to a fancy restaurant or the opera); but it should be appropriate to the occasion. If he's wearing ripped or stained clothing, it shows he doesn't care about making an impression. Also, he should open doors for his date, address her parents respectfully and engage them in conversation, and should never use coarse language or swear. And he should be willing to buy her dinner, movie tickets, etc. Don't date a guy who looks at pornography or who sees no problem with it. Even "soft" stuff like Victoria's Secret catalogs and display windows. Or who obviously looks at other women while he's with you or talks crudely about women with his friends. A decent guy will practice custody of the eyes and always be respectful of women. To rule #1 about going to church, I'd add that it's good to look for a guy who does more than the minimum of church on Sundays. I'd look for a guy who takes his faith seriously, reads the Bible, has an active prayer life, attends Bible study or a young adult group at Church or who volunteers. A husband and father will be the head of the domestic church, you want to look for a guy who will be a leader and who will confirm your faith. And finally, watch how he is around children. If he likes kids and knows how to talk to them, play with them, etc. then you've probably found a man who will make a good father.
MelanieB

I'd add that he should dress respectfully. It doesn't have to be button down shirt and tie (unless you're going to a fancy restaurant or the opera); but it should be appropriate to the occasion. If he's wearing ripped or stained clothing, it shows he doesn't care about making an impression.

Also, he should open doors for his date, address her parents respectfully and engage them in conversation, and should never use coarse language or swear. And he should be willing to buy her dinner, movie tickets, etc.

Don't date a guy who looks at pornography or who sees no problem with it. Even "soft" stuff like Victoria's Secret catalogs and display windows. Or who obviously looks at other women while he's with you or talks crudely about women with his friends. A decent guy will practice custody of the eyes and always be respectful of women.

To rule #1 about going to church, I'd add that it's good to look for a guy who does more than the minimum of church on Sundays. I'd look for a guy who takes his faith seriously, reads the Bible, has an active prayer life, attends Bible study or a young adult group at Church or who volunteers. A husband and father will be the head of the domestic church, you want to look for a guy who will be a leader and who will confirm your faith.

And finally, watch how he is around children. If he likes kids and knows how to talk to them, play with them, etc. then you've probably found a man who will make a good father.
MelanieB

I’d add that he should dress respectfully. It doesn’t have to be button down shirt and tie (unless you’re going to a fancy restaurant or the opera); but it should be appropriate to the occasion. If he’s wearing ripped or stained clothing, it shows he doesn’t care about making an impression.

Also, he should open doors for his date, address her parents respectfully and engage them in conversation, and should never use coarse language or swear. And he should be willing to buy her dinner, movie tickets, etc.

Don’t date a guy who looks at pornography or who sees no problem with it. Even “soft” stuff like Victoria’s Secret catalogs and display windows. Or who obviously looks at other women while he’s with you or talks crudely about women with his friends. A decent guy will practice custody of the eyes and always be respectful of women.

To rule #1 about going to church, I’d add that it’s good to look for a guy who does more than the minimum of church on Sundays. I’d look for a guy who takes his faith seriously, reads the Bible, has an active prayer life, attends Bible study or a young adult group at Church or who volunteers. A husband and father will be the head of the domestic church, you want to look for a guy who will be a leader and who will confirm your faith.

And finally, watch how he is around children. If he likes kids and knows how to talk to them, play with them, etc. then you’ve probably found a man who will make a good father.
MelanieB

I’d add that he should dress respectfully. It doesn’t have to be button down shirt and tie (unless you’re going to a fancy restaurant or the opera); but it should be appropriate to the occasion. If he’s wearing ripped or stained clothing, it shows he doesn’t care about making an impression.

Also, he should open doors for his date, address her parents respectfully and engage them in conversation, and should never use coarse language or swear. And he should be willing to buy her dinner, movie tickets, etc.

Don’t date a guy who looks at pornography or who sees no problem with it. Even “soft” stuff like Victoria’s Secret catalogs and display windows. Or who obviously looks at other women while he’s with you or talks crudely about women with his friends. A decent guy will practice custody of the eyes and always be respectful of women.

To rule #1 about going to church, I’d add that it’s good to look for a guy who does more than the minimum of church on Sundays. I’d look for a guy who takes his faith seriously, reads the Bible, has an active prayer life, attends Bible study or a young adult group at Church or who volunteers. A husband and father will be the head of the domestic church, you want to look for a guy who will be a leader and who will confirm your faith.

And finally, watch how he is around children. If he likes kids and knows how to talk to them, play with them, etc. then you’ve probably found a man who will make a good father.
Bro

This should be obvious, but she should always feel safe around the man she dates. If he ever threatens her, hits her, or makes her feel like he might, then he is worthless. Of course, any behavior like this would result in a visit from Uncle Buck and his chainsaw.
Bro

This should be obvious, but she should always feel safe around the man she dates. If he ever threatens her, hits her, or makes her feel like he might, then he is worthless.

Of course, any behavior like this would result in a visit from Uncle Buck and his chainsaw.
Bro

This should be obvious, but she should always feel safe around the man she dates. If he ever threatens her, hits her, or makes her feel like he might, then he is worthless.

Of course, any behavior like this would result in a visit from Uncle Buck and his chainsaw.
Bro

This should be obvious, but she should always feel safe around the man she dates. If he ever threatens her, hits her, or makes her feel like he might, then he is worthless.

Of course, any behavior like this would result in a visit from Uncle Buck and his chainsaw.