2010 Predictions

I was unusually accurate in my 2009 predictions. I claim wins for predictions 1, 3, 4, 6, 7, and 9. That’s over 50%. I’m especially thankful that the zombie attack was repelled but saddened over mainstream media’s refusal to follow the story.

On to my predictions for 2010:

1. The turtleneck mu mu will be the hottest women’s summer fashion.

2. Health care will continue not to be free even if Obama-care “reform” gets passed. Political supporters will express shock.

3. Mel Gibson will make his comeback when he takes on his most challenging role ever as the lead character in the screen adaptation of “Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret.”

4. Democratic senators will be ashamed of the practice of taking mega-bribes to pass legislation. They will then climb onto their personal flying pigs for their return flights to their home states.

5. Sick of losing to Facebook, MySpace will launch a redesign in order to become the leading “anti-social” media presence.

6. Milk boxes will start carrying pictures of the missing “millions of saved jobs” credited to the 2009 stimulus package.

7. The publishing industry will suffer from a shortage of books to publish as the Obama administration increases it’s employment of fiction writers to create speeches about the President’s accomplishments.

8. The NFL will consider converting measurements to the metric system in a bid to expand the sport’s global appeal but reject the idea after owners realize they would not understand what “1st and 9.144 meters” means.

9. Cyanide in drinking water will be promoted as being environmentally friendly in an attempt to capitalize on the similar strategies of using bamboo fiber in clothing and mercury in compact fluorescent bulbs.

10. Walking will be the new driving – except for the hundreds of millions of Americans who refuse to quit driving.