2007 Predictions

It’s time for another round of annual predictions. Out of my 10 predictions last year, I’m claiming five were right on – a 50% accuracy rate. That’s pretty good for a charlatan. So without further ado, here is what I think 2007 has in store for us:

1. Republicans will fail to gain control of the U.S. Congress in 2007 elections. (Yes, I know there are no scheduled federal elections but this is still a pretty risky prediction if you are among the moonbats that swear George Bush is a dictator who is ending our democratic government).

2. Saddam Hussein will be executed before the end of January 2007.

3. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will resign as President of Iran after nude photos of him appear on the cover of National Enquirer. Before resigning, he will try to claim “I was young. I needed the money.”

4. An Eastern European country will pass a law allowing the death penalty for spammers. Amnesty International will support the law.

5. I will write a parenting guide called “It takes a Daddy.” The Today Show will book me for March 17th, but will drop the segment after realizing the book isn’t titled “It takes a Paddy” and therefore is not appropriate for a St. Patrick’s Day story.

6. Microsoft will publish Windows as open source software after seeing the rising threat of desktop dominance from Linux. In a competing strategy, Apple will triple the price of Mac computers.

7. The San Diego chargers will almost win the Super Bowl.

8. The pope will again continue to remain Catholic.