New York Magazine ran an article on the problems that develop in a marriage when the wife is the main or sole breadwinner.
Is the problem that men are threatened? The article actually emphasizes the changes in the wives attitudes toward their non-succeeding husbands. Women are attracted to achievement. The stay-at-home man is just not attractive to women. As a result, the article points out, the spousal sexual relationship suffers.
One woman said:
“He was the best sex I ever had.� But that was long ago. “We fight instead,� she says. “We’re embroiled in some weird combat. It’s like Lysistrata. I tell him, ‘Your business is going to have to get better faster.’ Until then, I’m withholding.�
The article interviews a number of divorced women. These women were not divorced because their husbands left after being threatened by their success. They were divorced because the wives lost respect for their husbands.
Let’s face it. Men and women are different. Men want nuturers women who can take care of the emotional needs. Women are attracted to achievement. Those who can reverse those roles are the exception, not the rule.
Maggie Gallagher says:
“The sexual truth is that women (unless they’re lesbians) are attracted to men. And masculinity is not like femininity. It is a performance. It has to be won — and it can be lost.”