American Public: Hello?
Direct Marketing Association: Hi, we’re using property and services you pay for to try and sell you things you don’t want.
AP: I thought I told you I don’t want you to call me anymore.
DMA: Sure you do. A federal judge even said so today. Didn’t you read the news? We’re just using our, um, freedom of speech – yeah that’s a good one. We’ll go with that.
AP: No, I’m sure I don’t want you to call me anymore.
DMA: Now you are just being un-American. You don’t want to put millions of people out of jobs or prohibit our freedom of speech (or stop us from ripping you off)?
AP: What was that last one?
DMA: Nothing….um, uh just saying its our God given right to call people who have already told us they don’t want to be hassled during dinner.
AP: I don’t think it is. I mean if you already know I don’t want to be called, how is that violating your freedom? I’m not saying you can’t call people. Only people who have gone through a due process to say they do not want sales calls at home.
DMA: Because it doesn’t allow us to rip you off
AP: What was that?
DMA: I mean, how do you know you don’t want our product if you haven’t heard what it is?
AP: I know I don’t want salespeople to call me. Besides, I pay for my telephone service. What give you the right to hijack it? I don’t go to your house and commandeer your pickup to deliver goods you probably don’t want to buy do I?
DMA: No you don’t…but now that you mention it that’s a good idea.
AP: What?
DMA: Nevermind….just have the keys for your truck ready when I stop by tomorrow, I have something I need to pickup to bring over.
AP: Wait, I don’t want you to use my truck.
DMA: Sorry, its a free speech issue. See you then.
AP: but…..
(dial tone…boooooop)